Wishing On A Dream

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something.

I came to London not looking for anything in particular. My eyes, my heart, my mind - they didn't know what they wanted. I didn't know what I wanted. I got here and I found it.

Thing about life is, knowing what you want is one thing, finding it is another but then making it yours - that's sometimes just not in our control. Maybe that's where my problem is - you can't make somebody else yours.

I wish I could be sad that I'm not leaving with someone else by my side, that someone in particular, but truth be told knowing that they exist in the world means this whole year has been worth it. Before coming to London I didn't know the existence of such a creative soul, such an inspiring mind. I don't know if they have completed my understanding of the world, or more likely shattered it in to an overwhelming oblivion of excitement. Maybe they didn't think I was the nicest thing. Maybe we weren't meant to be more than friends but now I'm excited. If this person wasn't for me, maybe there is someone who is.

I'm leaving London this evening. I've said all my goodbyes. And as I drive away, as I rest my head on the window looking out at the skyline, the skyscrapers, the streetlights, the city - these are not what I'll be thinking about, but instead the glimpses that we shared or the moments of silence in which no words needed to be said. The subtle smiles and the little laughs.

I secretly started collecting records a long time ago and it seems this week my secret got out. It was a little picture in my mind. I couldn't see the faces of who I would share this moment with, but I knew one day I would be happy. I'd be with someone sharing our music, sharing our lives, sharing the skies and the stars and this year I thought I found that person. I'm sat now, typing away, surrounded by the pure beauty of vinyls thinking, I never told them. I never told them about that picture, about the fact that I believed in the 'us' that there one day could have been - but that's ok. Maybe I'll just keep collecting. Maybe I've got so much more to discover before I share that dream with someone in reality. Maybe this person was just never meant to know. 

Thunder only happens when it's raining.