Thinking Of The Horizon

A power cut took out our phone and internet connection on Friday night and we’ve lasted a good few days without it now! I don’t know the ins and outs of the physics behind it to be honest as I’m far from a scientist but I do know that those moments of being disconnected from your world orientated around the computer can be quite refreshing.  In a way it has made the days much longer and I like this feeling.  Moments of glimpsing at someone’s Facebook profile haven’t turned in to hours but instead we’ve got out, made the most of our time together as a family, and actually talked to one another.

It was my first Friday here with the family and we celebrated in what is apparently the new end of week tradition with a trip to our local Italian where mum is complimented by the waiter and offered free mojitos whilst dad and I were happy with the football on in the background! Though unfortunately Greece didn’t hammer Germany – which we thought would be nice for them given their economic situation – we did have a wonderful evening. It was nothing out of the ordinary but that is what I loved about it so much. Laughter about those things that we always laugh about…

As much as Friday was a good start to the weekend nothing could beat our Saturday afternoon. I sat on a rock, at what felt like the edge of the world. The waves, thousands of them, having trekked across the Mediterranean were finally reaching the shores, with this calmness to their roars as they subtly thumped against me, my toes, my legs, as if they were excited to just reach home. Only a couple of hours before we had spent the morning with a family friend who is now old now and though it seems scary to admit probably doesn’t have much time left with us.  I see her and the life she has lived and feel inspired. She was the first Spanish woman to leave our town, to go abroad, to study in a university – where she went on to lecture, to teach others, she travelled the world and she smiled as she did so. What is sad to see is that talking to her, and seeing her now, she is someone who only sees herself in the light of which she is presented today;  as someone who needs to be fed, who needs help to move, who doesn’t have long left and with the time that she does have – what can she do but just sit and wait? My dad has always told me that we as a society don’t realise how difficult it must be to get old, to have lived a life where you were in control of yourself and your actions and suddenly one day you wake up and you’re dependent on others and the people around you and you don’t know why, for what reason you are now living – and I think he’s right. But if anything, knowing this just makes me want to make most of the time in which I have the ability to feel happy now. I slate modern technology so much, even in this blog post I talk of how refreshing it is to have a no internet but I am such a big hypocrite as I’m using a computer to type away, to communicate, to keep in touch right now. And truth be told maybe it is a good thing too. Though it can be used in the wrongs ways or without moderation which can be unhealthy, it’s allowing me to easily keep track of what I have done, what I’m proud of. Maybe when I’m eighty which I hope I do get to, when I’m sitting being fed, I can have all these moments of my youth, of growing up, in front of me – easy to access – easy to see that if one day soon I am to pass, then I can go happily knowing and remembering that I’ve done a good job with the life I was given. Of course I could be wrong - maybe until we get there we don’t realise how difficult it is. I don’t have an answer to my query, I don’t even know where this thought is leading but I do know that when I sat on that rock, I felt so unbelievably happy to exist.

I always try and convince my parents to move away from Spain, to continue seeing more of the world but then when I was sat on the coast on Saturday I genuinely felt like I could just be there forever. I felt like I'd found that place that was accepting me for me ... To be honest I couldn't think of anywhere more perfect to spend my time before the crazy year that lies ahead ...