Happy Summer Solstice Everyone :)

I woke up and this was the view from my front door though those of you who know our house well will know that we also have a slightly uglier view from our house if you look in the other direction but I am happy with tilting my head to the right every time I need to walk out of the door :-)

My mum and I went in to our local town of Santa Pola last night and bought a few herbs for the garden. I woke up this morning and felt the need to make sure I watered the rosemary. I for so long was mocked by my father (and probably still am) for being a “lazy so and so” but this morning a little part of me exited my body and just watched what I was doing. It sounds so simple but a couple of years ago I probably would have forgotten that we’d even bought any sort of plant! Of course only time will tell as to whether I care enough to water it every day but I like to know that I’ve started with good intentions.

Though it is wonderful to be back in Spain it feels slightly odd. As much as the town that I live in holds wonderful memories of me and the time I spent here growing up and my house remains one of the places I am most comfortable in the world, it is surreal to come back to a place where your life no longer continues. I went to an international school in Spain where people come and go like mass manufactured pop songs meaning most the friends I did make and even their families no longer live here. I used to think I was one who could go out and meet people without the need to know anyone but now I’ve come to the conclusion that I only like to do this when I know I have a secure circle to go back to if all else fails – maybe that’s selfish of me? So here, right now, in my Spanish life of 2012, I am watching my mum have more of a social life than me! I quite like this though; it makes me think that when I am married and have my own children who seem to have all grown up, I will still be cool – socialising, happy, making the most of life. Even as I was typing this paragraph I was summoned up to my mother’s room to do up the zip to her “summer is now here and we show this by wearing white” dress. She is off out, dining with friends in what feels like a Santa Pola version of a Sex and the City catch up! And me, my plans for the evening: another swim, a little more music, rustle something up in the kitchen (of course with our newly bought basil leaves) and play a little more guitar?

Definitely the sexiest señora of Santa Pola!

Once upon a time, in fact only a few months ago, I was the one getting dressed up, hitting the town, and now even the people I always thought would be here seemed to have begun their own paths … I am happy for them though :-) … and even grateful. Just because I sit here and type about being on my own most the day, it doesn’t actually mean I’m sad. I have loved being able to listen to my own music, not be worried about anyone hearing & hating the racket I make when I attempt to play the guitar and even not having anyone swim faster than me in the pool. It sounds silly but I think maybe this summer I’m getting the time and the space I needed to just learn to be comfortable with me :)