This picture above has become one of my favourite pictures of all time. I have to admit we have quite a few keen photographers in the family so there are lots of pics to choose from but this snapshot from the weekend makes me smile every time I see it. I have for so long had this gorgeous numpty in my life. She's an intelligent inspiration who at the same time can be the silliest billy I know! Though we have our disagreements and bickering debates which can often be solved by a good old foot fight I also know how much I respect her opinion. This is me and my auntie Nai. For those of you who don't know our family too well Naieya is my mum's youngest sister. With just four years between us we were often when younger and are still sometimes mistaken for sisters when out together as a family ... I think that's the reason I love this pic so much. It seems to have captured us as niece and aunt, two sisters and close friends. I love that I can look at it and see a million memories we have shared together up until this point and though we are now going to be living lives even more further apart than ever before I'm quite excited to see how we will catch up and keep in each other's lives! I love this pic because it reminds me how cool it is to have a pretty awesome family.
I love when you realise that you are over someone. Of course when you have had feelings for another person the memories of them will never leave you. You may look back and smile at how you once regarded them, how you thought you wouldn't meet someone like them again ... but there is nothing like the relief of knowing you are over that unrequited love. I am not going to write a long passage about the person I have spent so long caring for because I quite frankly no longer thing they are worth it. I did want to write something though, mainly because I want to know that I can look back at this post and remember the evening when I realised I was happy to be me and very much happy to not need anyone around me, by my side, to make that me complete. I am my own person and I hope one day to find someone to share my life with but for now I am utterly content with what I've got! Couldn't have been a better start to the week :) x
I’ve been in a bit of a mood all week and for this reason
haven’t felt the desire to write anything but today it struck me that emotions
are valid no matter whether positive or not. I should be allowed to write how I
feel even if it isn’t the cheery, bubbly Krish I would like to be.
At first I thought I was getting tired of being in Spain. I
love this country but it is no longer where my life takes place. This summer is
a wonderful break and time to spend with the family before my travels start
again but it is a little like being in limbo. I have so many memories and connections
with this house, these roads, the scenery but we have both moved on. The people I once knew are no longer here and the
people that are here I do not know. I have had a life for the past twelve
months in London and I will return to China to start a fresh there but for the
mean time I am somewhere I know I will not be staying and that can be a little
frustrating for the mind.
Though I think the above makes complete sense I have come to
realise that this feeling of needing escape is in fact a pattern in what I have
lived of my life so far. I unexpectedly fell in love with the city of London
but that doesn’t mean I cherished every moment there. I can without a doubt say
I will have left the city at least once a month; to get a chance to breathe, to
be exposed to skies that aren’t towered over by grey buildings, to wake up and
not hear monstrous traffic jams in which the sirens of ambulances or police
cars have no way of moving, to see cows in fields and remember that green grass
does in fact exist …
Again, though I loved my time in Beijing I do recall on numerous occasions the cravings
for a half decent baguette of bread, a hug from someone familiar, my mum’s home
cooking – those comforts you never really think about until they’re not there…
I was this week this told that some people forget to
appreciate the present. They either reminisce so much on the past that nothing
can ever compare to what experience they have already had or they long for what is to come; always working to
achieve that goal, or to reach their destination, but in fact the only thing we
can control and the only thing that does exist is what we have now. I think I do
appreciate and am grateful for the life I lead this very day but and maybe this but is down to my age
or my position in life at the moment, I think I still have in my mind that free
spirit that can’t just stay in one position and be happy sitting tight.
Today is good friend of mine’s birthday and I can’t be with
him to celebrate. With me being so selfishly miserable for the past few days I
haven’t even taken the time out to send his card. Though I have realised this
week that I need not deny my feelings because they represent us as a unique
person ie no one can have the thoughts that are yours, you may share similar
ideas or even agree on certain occasions, but what is in your mind or heart or
gut or wherever you like to believe our feelings come from, these cannot be anyone
else’s… Though I accept this now, I have realised that I still have so much to
learn about controlling how you then deal with these feelings. To have a
thought is one thing but to act on it when it will have a resulting effect on
those you actually care about that is something I still need to learn to have
more of a hold on.
A good friend of mine sent me a song today, You Always Hurt
The One You Love. It’s rather apt really because I seem to have over the years
taken my insecurities out on the people that mean the most to me so if that is
in fact you then for now please take it as a compliment to the closeness of our
relationship and I hope that one day soon I will have it in me to just be
honest without being an utter bitch or frequent user of the classic silent treatment and mumbling grunts.
It’s a beautiful song so if you have three minutes spare in
your day you really should take a listen. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and here's to the new week ahead.
Having lived in Spain for nearly eight years now it gives me great joy in knowing that our family can still explore the local lands and find something new. It must be really easy to settle into a place and for it rightly so to become home and not a novelty but on the same hand it scares me to think that this ease could so quickly become routine and the lack of adventure and then a bore or something and somewhere you no longer find enjoyable. I'm so grateful to think that this isn't me and it's not my family either.
A little piece of China seeing the beauty of Spain.
Today we discovered Las Cuevas de Canelobre. They are our local mountain caves. Though it at first seemed a shame that taking pictures are forbidden when enterring it soon made sense as to why. We have lived here for so many years now and have only just come across this genuinely magical piece of nature. I think by keeping it hidden and away from the tackiness that tourism can sometimes be - you're maintaining that simple beauty.
Mi Padre y Yo.
The Undamaged Beauty of The Alicante Landcape
These caves, now over seven million years old, and discovered by the Arabs in the 7th century could only be accessed until World War Two by a little hole in the mountains. When Spain was controlled by the republican army the caves became a secret factory where pilot jets were manufactured meaning an official entrance was created for the planes to then exit from. As we walked amongst the crystallised stalagmites and under the glowing formations that funnily enough somehow have come to resemble dragons' heads, Barcelona's La Sagrada Familia and even The Virgin Mary, it was just dreamlike to think that we were surrounded by an overwhelming fusion of nature and history...
It's now nearly midnight and the day could not have ended more perfectly. Following our wonderful trip today not only did we even get a little beach side stroll but more importantly Spain has just won the Euro 2012 Final! Having cheered for this country and it's team since the age of 12 I have never been so proud to watch them make history. It's yet again been another day this summer of realising just how lucky I am to have my home and family here.
